Of Hot Dogs and Hand Sanitizer
by Sefie and Da Nixter
Summary: Two fanfics posted by Nix and Emma! Really good! One is by me,Nix and one is by Emma! RellSquinoa story! This summary uses way to many exclamation marks!
1. Nix's story

Disclaimer: I do not own final fantasy. Any of them. Well I have like 9 of them but that doesnt count. So dont sue me. Though I do hope to one day be the president of Squaresoft inc., but not now. I am too busy trynna beat the games. I do not own hand sanitizer either. Or a dorm room.... or hot dogs.... well put it this way this is the longest darn disclaimer i ever saw and i dont own much. Ooh I dont own pixie stix either. Or a library. Okay enough with this and on with the story!!! Oh wait I AM CANADIAN!!! I dont own that either... Canada for you oh-too-slow-peeps who dont know that a Canadian lives in Canada!  
  
It was a bright and sunny morning. Everyone was doing something. Everyone except Rinoa and Squall that is. They were just sitting in the library doing absolutely nothing. Rinoa: Soooooo..... What do you wanna do? Squall: Whatever  
"Oh great" thought Rinoa to herself "I'm stuck inside with Mr. Sunshine here"  
Right then Rinoa's cell phone rang. Voice on the phone: HHHEEEYYYY RRIIINNNYYY!!!! WAAAZUUUUPP!?!?!?!?  
It was Zell. Rinoa: Oh hi Zell... Zell: Wanna come over today?!?!? Like right now??!?!?! Rinoa: Well....  
She looked around at what she was doing. And what she was doing wasn't all that much. Rinoa: Sure!!  
So she put away her cell phone and left the library, leaving Squall with a puzzled look on his face. Rinoa: Squally-poo I'm going.... to ... uh.... go to the bathroom and I wont be back for like... oh... ever. Squall: Whatever.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
So she left, and headed to the "bathroom". She got to Zell's dorm room and then she heard loud noises' coming from the room. It was Zell "singing". Zell: OH jingle bells Quina smells Vivi laid an egg. Kuja whore a metal thong and froze his balls again!!!! *knock knock*  
Zell opened the door and there was standing there in his briefs. Rinoa looked him up and down and tried not to stare too much at his overly large ding-dong. Zell: HEY RINNY!!!!!!!! Welcome to my dorm come in!!!! Rinoa: Umm.... okay.  
Rinoa entered the room and saw millions upon millions of boxes and crates containing hand sanitizer. Zell: Whoa! Watch your step there! No don't scream that rats been dead for a while! Kay now you can scream that's three year old pizza.  
Rinoa sat down on a seemingly clean chair. Zell: Here take some of this.  
He passed Rinoa a 16L container of hand sanitizer. Rinoa: Umm... what is it and what do I do with it?  
Zell stared at Rinoa blankly then started laughing. Zell: What do you do with it she asks! You pour it on your hands, then rub it in for a few secs, then sniff it as hard as possible! Rinoa: Umm.... okay.  
So she did what Zell told her to do and then in no time flat, she was as high as Selphie on pixie stix. Soon her and Zell where on top of each other doing something they probably shouldn't be doing. Nix: O.o Any guesses what that is?  
~~~1 hour and 5 crates of hand sanitizer later~~~ Rinoa: Hey Zell I had a real great time. Zell: Yeah so did I.  
He leaned over and kissed Rinoa on the cheek. Then she kissed him back. Rinoa started to giggle and she blushed. Just at that moment Quistis looked over and saw Rinoa and Zell goggling at each other. She rubbed her eyes and looked again. They where still there and still mushily looking at one another. So she just walked back into her dorm and ignored all of what she saw. Zell: So... umm do you.... you know... wanna go on a ... you now what it's called.... Rinoa: A date? Zell: Yeah that's it! How 'bout tonight for dinner at the cafeteria? You like hot dogs right? Rinoa: Yes, but I thought they where always sold out of hot dogs? Zell: Yeah but 3 000 000 Gil gets you a VIP year-round hot dog pass! And guess what? I got one!! Rinoa: Kay see ya then!  
~~~~~~In the cafeteria~~~~~~~  
  
Zell considered this a HUGE date like a prom or something. He was wearing a tux with a little tie and he had a rose in his hand. The cafeteria ladies were wearing luxurious dresses and no one else was allowed in there. There were candles on the table and everything was perfect. Then through the large cafeteria doors, came the most beautiful site ever seen. It was Rinoa in the same white dress she whore in that dance seen with her former boyfriend squall (Nix: you know the one) but it was ten times prettier. She sat down across the table from Zell. Zell: Whoa....O.O *drool* Rinoa: Hi Zell-Zell ^_~ Zell: Hey Rinoa..!  
The cafeteria ladies walked up and placed a huge platter of hot dogs on their table. Zell leaned over and gave Rinoa the rose. She took it and smelled it and took Zell's hands. Rinoa: Zell you're so sweet. Zell: *Blushes* Thank you, you are too Rinoa.  
So they ate all the hot dogs then got up and walked back to Rinoa's dorm room. Nix: I wonder what they're gonna do there.! -.-  
~~~~At Rinoa's dorm~~~~ They get to her dorm room door arm in arm and then they share a good night kiss. A really long kiss. Too long actually. Because right at that moment, Squall came out of his dorm room which was, ironically enough, next to Rinoa's, with Selphie on his arm. Rinoa: SQUALL!!!! Squall (at the same time): RINOA!!!! Squall and Rinoa: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!? Rinoa: Squally-poo how could you!?! You are choosing Selphie over me?!? Squall: Rinny dearest how could you?!? You're choosing that asshole over me?!? I'll kill you filthy bastard!! Zell: AAHH!!!!!!*runs away crying like a baby* Squall: Come back here you hot dog eating freak!!!  
Squall runs after Zell, then takes out his gunblade and grabs Zell by the shirt Squall: This'll teach you to fool with my Rinny!!!!*stabs Zell in the heart* Rinoa: No!!! Zell-Zell!!!!  
Squall starts to stab Zell maniacally, only stopping to catch breaths. Squall: You-Loved...my...RINOA!!!!!!! Selphie: Umm... Squall I think he's dead now...  
Zell's bloody body lay there motionless. But then Balamb garden must have hit a speed bump which made Zell's body moved the slightest bit. Squall: See, see!!! He's not dead!!! He Moved!!!!!!!! Selphie: Umm.... I don't think that was hi-*Squall stabs Selphie in the heart* Rinoa: O.O Squall: She had it comin'!  
~~~~~~ten minutes and a heck of a lot of stabbing later~~~~~~  
  
Squall was finally pleased with his accomplishment and looked down at his kill. There lay a pile of blood, guts and vital organs all in one heap. You could never tell it was Zell. Squall: Rinoa, I love you! Please forgive me for what I did to him!! Rinoa: ...Okay!!  
So Squall scooped Rinoa up into his arms and carried her off to his dorm for some... "Apologies".  
  
~~THE END~~  
  
*Nix: Muahahahahahahahah did you like the ending of this magnificent fanfic!?!?!?!?!! Well review!!!!!! Buh bye!!!! ^_^*  
  
Sefie: That was all written by Nix. but with some well-needed corrections from me. Next chapter is my version of this story! 


	2. Sefie's Story

Well it's Sefie here, and welcome to my first fanfic. Sorry it took so long (I'm lazy) and sorry if FanFiction screws up the format.  
  
The traditional disclaimer: it doesn't belong to me. Don't sue. I own nothing. Yadda Yadda Yadda.  
  
Of Hot Dogs and Hand Sanitizer  
  
Rinoa was bored. Why? One word: Squall. She was stuck in the cafeteria with him, but neither was saying anything. She was getting pitying glances from others, as everyone knows that Squall is as boring as a sack of potatoes. Rinoa was pleading to every god she knew for someone to save her from the torture, when her cell phone rang.  
  
"Hello" she answered. "Hi, it's Zell!" came the voice on the other end. "Come to my dorm in 15 minutes?" Rinoa thought for a little while. Zell: hyper, active, hyperactive. Squall: boring. She answered "Yup, I'll be there." and hung up.  
  
15 minutes later  
  
Rinoa knocked on Zell's door. She waited a minute or two, and then the door opened, and Zell's face peered around it. "Oh, hey Rinoa! Come on in!" He said. Well, more like shouted. Rinoa stepped in, though somewhat cautiously. You never knew what to expect form Zell.  
  
"Okay Rinoa, the reason I asked you here is because." Zell faltered, then took a deep breath and started up again. "Well, uh. do you wanna. uh. sniff some hand sanitizer with me?" Rinoa blinked. "Hand sanitizer?" That wasn't what she had been expecting. "Yeah, you know, the stuff you put on your hands to clean them without soap or water or anything?" Zell replied, all in one breath. "Well, when I was buying some the dude selling it told me that if you sniff it, it gets you high!"  
  
"Why didn't you just ask Selphie? She seems more likely to do it." Rinoa asked, still trying to sort out the details. Zell took no time to answer. "Well, if she had some, considering how she is normally, people would think she was stoned!" Realizing Zell was already quite high, Rinoa let the comment pass.  
  
A bottle or two of hand sanitizer later  
  
Quistis poked her head out her door. From somewhere else in Balamb, she could hear singing. Christmas carols. What was weird about this was that it was the middle of August. Quistis then realized it was all a dream and went back inside to sleep a bit more. Elsewhere, arm in arm, Rinoa and Zell skipped along, singing, you guessed it, Christmas carols.  
  
When they finally got back to Zell's dorm, it was about noon. "Hey Rinoa." Zell started, and then stopped to think. "Well, uh. I don't really know how to say this, but. uh. do ya wanna go to the cafeteria for a dinner with me?" Rinoa couldn't see how she could turn it down. "Yeah, of course!" "Meet me down there around six?" "Yup" And then Rinoa turned and went back to her dorm. Forgetting about her date with Squall, at the cafeteria, at six thirty.  
  
Around six  
  
Rinoa was waiting around for Zell. He came, of course, laden with hot dogs. "And for you, sweet princess." He was obviously still pretty high. "I will eat the biggest hot dog the cafeteria ladies can make!" That was more like the Zell she knew. When the hot dog came, Rinoa was glad the cafeteria was empty. If it wasn't, someone might have gotten hurt.  
  
Soon after, Zell went on a voracious eating spree. He was like a shark in feeding frenzy. More like a fast-forwarding video of a shark at a feeding frenzy. He was that fast. And that hungry. And that. oh, never mind.  
  
Anyways, he did mange to eat the whole thing. Rinoa was kind of sickened that someone could eat that much, but also proud of her little Zellers. Soon afterwards, they shared their first kiss. It would have lasted much longer if Squall hadn't come in for his date with Rinoa.  
  
At that very moment, as if to stop Squall from maiming Zell, Sephiroth's Meteor came and hit Balamb Garden. Why? Because I could think of no other way to end the story.  
  
(  
  
Well, there you have it, my first fanfic. I would ask you to R&R, but that always seems kind of rude to me. Hope ya enjoyed! 


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